Adult-Worthy Slides

by Katie Cook

The view from the bottom of the Bernal Heights slides.

While I prefer to swing my troubles away sliding is the next best thing. There are two parks in San Francisco with slides that are worthy of adult-sized fun. My preferred slides are the Seward Street slides in Noe Valley.

At the entrance to the hidden park that is home to the Seward Street slides hangs a sign that says, “No adults allowed unless accompanied by children.” These slides are definitely not for children. In fact, the two side-by-side concrete slides are not for the faint of heart. You are guaranteed to get some bumps, bruises, and scrapes on your way down; but the thrill of being airborne for an instant while dropping down the slide makes it totally worth it. Riding on a piece of cardboard makes for a smooth, fast ride. There are usually some abandoned scraps of cardboard at the base of the slide, but thrill-seekers should bring a piece of cardboard to guarantee a ride that would satisfy speed demons.

The slides are open from 10am to 5pm. Each evening the entrance to the slides is gated off to prevent any late-night fun. It should also be noted that some of the neighbors are very sensitive to noise and frown upon adults using the Seward Street slides. The angry neighbors have been known to report excess noise to the police and have taken to directly scolding park-goers. The slides are located at the intersection of Seward and Douglass Streets.

35 feet of pure sliding enjoyment.

The pair of slides in Bernal Heights are the second best slides in San Francisco. These narrow metal slides can accommodate smaller adults. The two aluminum side-by-side slides have a bump near the beginning of the slide and then the slides head straight down. While these slides aren’t particularly fast, they offer 35 feet of sliding fun. You’ll definitely want to bring some burlap or cardboard to help speed up the ride. The slides are hidden at the end/beginning of a dead end street in a quiet residential area. Like the Seward Street slides, the neighbors here prefer to keep noise to a minimum at this small park. The Bernal Heights slides are located on Esmeralda Street between Prospect Ave and Winfield Street.


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